Hospital gags

  • (Point to nurse)....Look out for her, she's got her black belt in nursing

  • In my old job I used to be a vet, but I quit because the ducks used to call me names

  • Every night one of the nurses put on face cream, body cream and hand cream. Now she has trouble sleeping because as soon as she lies down she slips out of bed

  • The's a new Doctor doll wind it up and it operates on batteries

  • Did you hear about the kid down the hall. He drank 8 cokes and burped 7-up

  • Did you hear about the latest miracle drug. It's 1/2 aspirin and 1/2 glue. It's for people with a splitting headache

  • Anyone who goes to a brain surgeon should have his head examined

  • If you fall down and break you legs, don't come running to me!

  • Nothing is wrong. Even a broken clock is right twice a day